EdUcation

Seriously, this is why I rarely post anymore. I just remembered this post at midnight! Ahhh!
I tried to do an Instagram story but IG and I don’t jive well. Lucky for you who do not have Instagram, you get a post.
So, if you have been following me since the beginning, you will know that I have homeschooled and then public schooled and am homeschooling again. Just one kid though. The same kid.
The first time I homeschooled, I felt like I was being called to it. I really liked the idea of having a flexible schedule and teaching according to your child’s interest. With my husband travelling for work, I dreamt of the kids and I tagging along and learning all sorts of amazing things on our travels. Not so. We didn’t have the finances or the sanity to make that happen. We loved the alternative school that was close by (Christian public school) and my decision wasn’t based on a desire to shelter the kids so it wasn't scary putting them in school. 
All was well; not perfect but well, until I noticed that one of our kids just didn’t seem to be understanding his school work. It’s hard to explain but it was apparent he was not catching what was going on in class and certainly not what was expected of him on paper. After years of seeking advice and help from our school and outsiders we had to take everything into our own hands. After some assessments, he was diagnosed with a few learning disorders (dysgraphia and discalculia are two).  We had a PIP plan set up at school but it took until the end of the year for the plan to be implemented.  It had already been a terrible year. Our kind and happy son was frustrated and discouraged. His teacher, although warned, seemed flabbergasted by his inability to finish any assignments and seemed to have written him off as a kid who didn’t care. So, he became a kid who didn’t care. When he started getting sent to the principal’s office is when we decided to pull him out and homeschool him. I just needed to see for myself what was going on with his learning and how far back he was.  We also just needed to breathe and let him breathe. 
We are 7 months in on our homeschooling journey and are really enjoying our time together. He seems to be really understanding math and  the reading and spelling lessons. He is great at everything else, it's just understanding the instructions that he struggles with.  I do have to sit with him and read his questions out loud.  He needs many breaks and reminders to stay on task. I don’t mind because it’s just us and well, I’m sort of the same. He has really taken a liking to video editing, like his dad, and I’ve allowed him a lot of time to work on that in the afternoons. It’s built up his confidence, he has learned a lot and thinks this may be something he could do for a career.  However, he really began missing his school when we attended his brothers Christmas concert. To be honest, I was super sad too. I loved all the social aspects of school, like concerts, talent shows, sports and field day, and I was sad that he didn’t have much of that. I tried to connect him with our homeschool community through some phys Ed classes but with pick-ups with the other boys, it made commitment very difficult.
I have thought of pulling all of the kids out and homeschooling because, honestly, it is difficult being in both worlds.  I am unable to help out with field trips with the other boys and there are many activities my homeschool boy can't be a part of because of his brothers' schedules.  Also, days off!!! I did't realize how much time kids gets off until it affected my teaching schedule!
I sometimes dream that we will move on to an acreage, pull the kids from school and homeschool using our land and travel to teach them all that they need to know for a successful life. However, as I get old(er), I am starting to see that I can romanticize things a bit much. My husband and family see reality and as much as they support me in homeschooling this year, they don’t see the kids and I successfully homeschooling. Now, some may think that that is mean, it sometimes feels mean. I also know that those closest to us know us best and those are who we need to hear the truth from.  I continue to pray and seek the Lord on His best for our kids and it seems that right now we are headed back to our public school.  I know that because I am seeking the Lord, He will not let us down so I will move forward until He tells me different.
All that being said, I think we as moms, can really get stressed out and anxious about the options for schools.  I mean, if you grew up like I did, in a small town where there was no option to homeschool, there was no choice.  I went to the school down the street and it suited me fine.  Living in the city with the various public and private options is daunting.  There are even more homeschooling options!   We can think that there is only one right option and if we pick the wrong one our kids are screwed.  Thankfully, God is much much bigger than that.  Someone told me that we need to pray for God to be and work in wherever or whatever we choose for our kids.  When we invite God into those choices then it WILL be good. He will use whatever we choose for His purposes.  I am reminded of how many times people in the Bible messed up and yet God's plan was still fulfilled.  The main thing is the truth of the gospel. That is the ONE RIGHT way.  We don't have to stress about getting it perfect. He is the only perfect one and He can use all things for the good of those who love Him. Phew!
 So, whether my son goes back to school and has an amazing school career from here on or fails miserably and comes back home with all of his brothers-it will all be used for his good, for my good, for all of our good and to God's glory. 
Moms, pray for wisdom.  Seek advice, receive criticism and do not stress.  God loves those children even more than you ever could.  He chose you to be their mom, knowing all about you and your fears and dreams.  Move forward looking for His promptings and then whatever you choose, pray. Trust that God is in control and working wherever they are.
If you do not know this God who loves you so much.  I encourage you to give up trying to handle it all on your own and hand it over to the One who holds the world.  He is good and He has had a perfect plan for His creation from the beginning of time.  Jesus calls all those who are weary and burdened to come to him and find rest. He says that we can give him our heavy burdens and exchange them for his rest.  If  this is something you would like to explore further, feel free to contact me or visit this website for more discussion.  >> Know Jesus
Thanks for walking with me in this thing called motherhood.  It doesn't always come natural but it is quite an adventure!

From All Natural to Duncan Hines-Surviving Birthdays

Hey friends, 

Over the last 10 years I have been trying to work out the best ways to have fun, stress-free birthdays for our four boys.  Our challenge is that each of them share a month with another brother.  Two have birthdays two days a part in August and two share the month of October.  They are also VERY different kids! As a mom who gets overwhelmed very easy, I have needed to find ways to put on fun parties that don't cause major anxiety and tears...for all of us!
With my first son, I did as most moms of new babes do, and went all out!  Lots of people, homemade and elaborate cakes and themes, destination birthdays, and lots of decorations.  This year for his 11th birthday I have told him that it's all being toned down with a couple close friends and a fun activity at home.  However, I still have three brothers behind him and frankly, I am tired.  I dreaded the August birthdays this year.  I was looking for ways to calm it all down and that's when this idea of sharing with you moms came to be. Maybe I can save one mom from birthday burn-out!

Here are a few things that I have incorporated into my birthday party planning to keep them fun and stress-free.

Five Things to Keep in Mind 

1. Our kids will not remember every detail. Try to think back as early as you can and remember the details.  Were the balloons the right colour, did your dress match your decorations, what games did you play?  I could only remember three cakes and I think it is because there are photos that I have seen.  I actually remember silly details like how bossy I was with my friends and special gifts that I received.  With that in mind, ask yourself "What do you want your kids to remember, if they actually remember?" Are you stressing over details that will be totally forgotten?  They WILL remember the good feelings, the love and the care that their mom had for them...but not the colour theme or whether the cake was homemade or not.

2.It's one day.
  If you are a mom who keeps sugary treats and trans fats at bay in your home, just relax for one day. Trust me, this is hard for me. I take very seriously how my kids eat and what their relationship with food looks like. We have some serious hereditary diseases that we do not want to be our boys' stories so we tend to be strict with pop and snacks.  My oldest son was unfortunate to eat a sugar free cupcake on his first birthday.  He hated it! So much for a cute "cake-on-on-your-face pic.  By the time I got to our fourth son, I went straight to Duncan Hines.  Was one day of processed cakes going to hurt him?
So with birthdays, I let it be the one day where we just relax and go for it.  Chips, pop and candy? Do it up boys!  One day is not going to kill them.

3. If you have multiple birthdays to plan, try to find ways to share decorations, cake supplies or activities.  One year I made a Minecraft cake and a Mario Cart cake. Both required green icing and chocolate cookie crumbs.  I was able to buy the good food colouring and use it on both cakes.  Win! This year I made the August birthdays have Nerf guns included in the theme.  The older boys, with the Pixel Gun 3D theme had a Nerf gun battle in the backyard with homemade barriers made from some free pallets and hockey nets and the younger Nerf themed party shot through homemade targets taped on the pallets.  In case you think it was fancy, think again. I taped tissue paper from the previous party up on the pallets and drew circles on them.  Lots of fun!

4. Ask friends to help.  This year I wised up and asked a friend who has a house full of everything if I could borrow a square cookie cutter and a spatula for smoothing icing. She had them both!!  If you have a neighbourhood Facebook group, ask there for cake molds, leftover decorations, balloons, or even someone to make a cake.  I also ask friends for used gift ideas.  One year we gave our oldest my husband's old iPod and this year we gave our second oldest a friend's old IPOD.  Another person's junk could be your kids' treasure. They don't care if it's brand new if it is thoughtful.  One of the few gifts I remember as a child was a used camera my grandpa got me.  :) No one said the birthday gift had to be brand new.

5. Take pictures.  This will be your child's memories.  Take pictures of the joy in them playing with their friends, with their family and with YOU!  What you think is cool now they may think is cheesy later so don't fuss over photos of the decor.  Capture the people and the smiles!

Some Things I Have Learned 

-kids just want to play with their friends- especially if they invite their school friends, who they probably don't get to free play with much.  I over-planned my 10 year old's party last year and I ended up sick on the couch with my husband and his friend running the show. You know what my son remembers most? Running around the neighbourhood after the activities.  Most of those friends had never been over before so he loved just having them in his world.
This can make the house a bit more chaotic or messy so if that is too much for you then, by all means, go to a play place or plan the games.  Do what works best for your comfort level.

-Have a tradition that the kids look forward to.  I copied my friend Lindsay by putting up a special birthday banner for each birthday.  Our boys know that when they wake up and come downstairs they will be met with the banner and balloons.  I bought a reusable felt banner from Target before it sadly left Canada (still so sad).  We also let the kids pick the supper for that day and we all pray a blessing over them at bedtime.  If all else goes wrong in the day, they know these things will happen.  They look forward to it.

-Bring back the good old games. Remember pin-the-tail, or hot potato?  I tried those last year on a few birthdays and the kids loved them!  I especially love the game where you wrap a prize in tonnes of wrapping paper and tape and the kids pass it around to music.  When the music stops, the kid who has the gift unwraps as much as they can until the music starts.  The person who gets to the treat gets to keep it.  It's a good game for gathering everyone together before present opening.

-I like treat bags; just not ones full of junk.  I hate Dollar store junk. My husband hates it more.  Chances are the guests' parents do too.  I usually let our boys pick out their favourite candy to give their friend and add in glow sticks (cuz everyone loves glow sticks!) or a themed gift that is unique. Kites, sidewalk chalk and bubbles are great gifts that I don't ever mind having around so I tend to give those too.  I like treat bags because it teaches my kids about gratitude.  They end their party saying thank-you and focusing on giving to their friend.  I hope that instills a value of sending thank-you cards or gifts when they are older.

Do one thing really well and relax on the rest.  I do cakes.  I am not an elaborate fondant seven-layer, Michael's workshop type of cake maker but I do like to challenge myself to a creative cake.  I usually bake the cakes during the day and take the evening to decorate while I watch a favourite show on Netflix and enjoy a fun beverage.  Our family is very creative so we all enjoy what comes of it.  My kids are super encouraging and always marvel at my attempts.  I even tried to make Nintendo Wii remote cookies one year. They were so sad looking. One of the parents asked my son if he made them! All of the kids loved them though.  That's all that mattered.
**Kids don't look through Pinterest and Instagram comparing decor like we do so their expectations are lower.**

Lastly, here is a secret >> Have your party in between meals so that you only have to provide a snack.  If you like hosting and providing a meal is no issue for you then- awesome! (I love being fed at parties.) However, if you get easily overwhelmed and stressed or you are on a budget then just skip the meal.  I had the August birthdays just after lunch and only provided chips and a veggie plate.  They were so busy playing that they didn't mind.  Keep the party no longer than 2 hours and all will be well.  I actually tried an hour long party with my four year old and that was a bit stressful. There as not enough time for everything. Two hours is perfect for some playtime, an activity, cake and presents.

Remember that ultimately, kids want the people they love most to celebrate with them.  They may fuss about wanting this and that but even if they don't get it, they will be happy with a fun time with their people.  (If they don't then you have other issues to work on). What matters most is that they have a mom who is joyful and able to share in the fun, not stressing and grouching in the background.  Keep it simple. Have fun.

I hope that some of the things that I have learned will help you to enjoy your birthday planning a bit more.  Only you can decide what is best for your family.  Don't let the social media world dictate what is a good party for your kids.  Don't let comparison get in the way of the joy of celebrating your children. Again, they are not going to remember half of it anyway.  Relax.  Create your own traditions and quirks to your family and own it! 

Is there anything else you want to know?  Send me a message and we can cover that.  Want to ask the Natural Mom community for ideas?  Join us on our Facebook group and start a conversation.
I do this so that moms can feel supported and encouraged.  I would love to continue on in this topic if it helps you.
Lastly, if you have some ideas to share or celebrate, send them to me through Instagram or Facebook and I would be glad to share them with everyone else.

Happy party planning! 

Social Media. It’s only been a part of my life for the last 11 years but it’s hard to even remember life before it. As a very social person, I love that it allows me to stay in contact with my groups of friends from the different stages of my life. I also love the inspiration I get from other people. There are so many creative and smart people out there that I get to learn and glean from.  However, if I am going to allow social media into my life, I also need to evaluate what ugly stuff it brings out in me. I admit that it can feed my struggle with gossip, comparison and envy. There are times when I know that I am not valuing the person that I am spectating and will unfollow them until my heart is right. I also continually ask myself the question in regards to envy, “Do you really want that for your life? Would you really choose that for yourself?” Often the answer is “no” so I reject the lie that I need what they have and allow myself to enjoy and celebrate with them.
One thing that reared it’s head today, and this is me being super transparent here, is the struggle to want to portray a facade.  I was listening to a cool song, enjoying the moment of my kids actually getting along and me having a good hair day.  My thought was, “I need to post this.” Now, there is nothing wrong with sharing our good moments or good hair days. However, digging deeper the question asked was “why”.  Why do you need to post it? What is your purpose? Who is the post aimed at?  That question brought me to the place of rejection and feelings of not fitting it in that I have lived with for all my life. A feeling that I am sure all of us have felt at one time in our life.  The post was for the boys that rejected me, including the first husband of my youth who wanted someone else. The post was for the girls that I felt like I could never be cool enough to be friends with. The post was for the lies that I believed in the numerous fashion magazines I read as a teen. Those lies that I just wasn’t  quite enough.  The next question was,”So you post it. Will it really do what you want it to do? Will it really prove that you are cool, beautiful, a good mom, someone who has it together?” Here’s my answer. Maybe it will fool a few people for a few days. Maybe it will fool someone enough to make them think they don’t have it together and then they start on a long insecure train of posting their “perfect life”. Maybe it will look good but will it prove anything to me?  Will it make me feel beautiful, together, cool? Do I even have to be those things? What is really going to bring me joy and peace? Cuz that’s what I really want here. Is this where my value is going to come from? No. My value is in who God says I am. He says I am precious and worth dying for. That’s better than a ❤️ or a 👍🏻. So instead, I’m going to just enjoy this moment of good music, good hair and nice kids. Just for me. And I’m going to tell myself, “ You’re one cool Mother with some great hair today”, and I will thank my Lord for a great moment of showing me the goodness in my life. I will thank the  Holy Spirit for opening my eyes to the truth in the midst of facades and images.  I will accept the value I have already been given and carry on with my day.

The Gift of Time- a letter to grandparents

This is a Facebook post that I wrote a few years ago. It is still true, if not more true today.

 As I look around our room full of toys and think about how much my boys actually play with them, it brings something from my childhood to mind. Kids didn't have rooms for toys back then. We had toy boxes.  Grandparents, aunts and uncles and cousins didn't buy us toys at Christmas or birthdays most times. We just spent time together. Grandparents usually gave us lame clothes and a few dollars to buy something we liked. If they did buy gifts, they were very special; like when my grandpa bought me my first camera. I'm sure it was used and it was old but I didn't care. It was thoughtful. This is also the grandpa that made a point to stop by our house every day after work just to say "hi". I'm glad he did that because he died when I was 10. Yet, I still have many fond memories of him in that short time. My grandmas would play school with me, colour or write poetry, take me for walks, let me help in their gardens or attend my softball or ringette games. A treat at our grandparents' houses were a mint from the mint jar or a chiclet. 30 years ago people seemed to have a lot more time and a little less stuff.  So when we got "stuff" it was rare and special. Thinking to that and looking at our room full of toys brought me to this :
Grandparents, in a time where people have so many "things" but not a lot of time, why not give your grandkids what is rare? Honestly, those toys you spend your hard earned money on often are forgotten.  However, your time, the memories that you could create by playing with them or telling them stories of your childhood while making mud pies would be treasured in their hearts forever. You don't need to buy them a lot of candy or spoil them with "stuff" every time you see them.  These days, even the doctors and dentists are giving them something. Did you know that they even get candy and toys with their Valentine's now? It's not as special anymore. Kids take "stuff" for granted. Mine do anyway. They don't take time together for granted though.  Less stuff more time. Would you agree, parents?

The Spirit of Christmas

At this time of the year we look forward to the fun of being with friends and family, enjoying special treats, Christmas events around the community, lights, carols and the special focus on Jesus and his humble birth.  With all of that we subconsciously or quite consciously expect that it should be a joyful time, full of laughter and love. Wouldn't you agree that we put extra pressure on the holiday to be a time of happiness and good times? 
This week, less than three weeks from Christmas Day, was met with great sadness for friends in different areas of our lives.  One friend lost her mom to an illness, one is waiting on test results on a tumour that is causing debilitating pain and others lost yet another grandchild to death in utero.  There is a heavy feeling in my chest as I think of what they must be going through in their hearts and minds.   For some reason, tragedies like these seem more painful to us when they happen close to Christmas, "the Season of Joy and Peace and Goodwill". 
As  I was driving today, praying for my friends, Amy Grant's song "Breath of Heaven" came on the radio.  One of the lines in the song reads:

I am waiting in silent prayer

I am frightened by the load I bear

In a world as cold as stone

Must I walk this path alone

Be with me. Be with me now. 

                                                                                               -Breath of Heaven, Amy Grant 

One thing I find we do is romanticize the event surrounding Jesus' birth.  Many pastors have done a great job of bringing realistic details of this time; with descriptions of what Mary must have experienced with a seemingly unplanned pregnancy out of wedlock, the stank conditions of where our Saviour first laid his head or the number of babies who were slain by a narcissistic king who was threatened by a prophesy.  No matter how well these preachers and teachers present the truth of these events, we still hang on to the beauty of the young virgin, loved and cared for by a humble Joseph.  We love the shepards following after the star with wonder and hope, the host of angels who herald the New Born King, and the quiet scene of a new family in a tidy nativity setting.  We know, just like at Easter, that there was pain and anguish, unknowns and fear, but that is not as beautiful.  We want the Nat King Cole, Town Square lit Christmas trees, and children nestled up in their beds dreaming of sugar plums.  These have become the Spirit of Christmas in our minds.  

So what happens when our Christmas season is met with pain and brokenness and fear?  What if we are so busy going to chemo treatments or trips to the NICU that we don't have time to get the tree up and the cookies baked? What if our family gatherings are anxiety-ridden or completely non-existent? Are we less Christmasy?  

What if circumstances such as these, these painful, heart-wrenching circumstances, are the very ones that bring us closer to the true Spirit of Christmas? 

Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Matthew 5:4 

He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds. -Psalm 147:3 

If we look at the words of Jesus and the many promises of God we find all that we are longing for at Christmas. 

If you really listen to the words of old hymns like Joy to the World and ... you will find great truths. 

Truly he taught us to love one another,

His law is love and His gospel is peace. 

Chains we shall break, for the slave is our brother. 

And in his name all oppression shall cease. 

Sweet hymns of joy in grateful chorus raise we, 

With all our hearts we praise His holy name.

                                                                                                  -O Holy Night

Now, going back to Amy Grant's song. When I heard the words "frightened", "cold" and "alone", it hit me that these emotions are just as much a part of Christmas as the warm and happy ones.  The Christmas story is not void of negative emotions and hard circumstances BUT there is such beauty in them because they are met with the promises of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords-Emmanuel!  Those who are mourning at Christmas are blessed, as scriptures suggest, because they can experience  true and lasting comfort.  The brokenhearted can look to the Risen King for their healing and their freedom.  Those who look to the Babe in a Manger with desperation are those who will fully experience the true Spirit of Christmas and what they receive from Him will be far deeper and long standing than our happy times with friends and egg nog.  

This message is not to reprimand you for looking forward to the joys of Christmas frivolity or good times.  Not at all!  Celebrate all the good that the Lord has done; sing and tell stories and laugh. 

Simply, this message is an encouragement for you to not avoid or resist feeling negative feelings at Christmas.  Embrace them . Embrace them and let the true meaning of Christmas touch your heart and transform you.  If hardships come in this season, turn to your nativity scene on your mantel, bend your knees and allow him to come and give you beauty for ashes, oil for joy and the garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness (Isaiah 61:2-3) 

Lastly, let's not avoid people who are hurting and broken at this time of year.  Bring comfort, offer rest, carry their burdens. Embrace their pain with them and in turn, experience the grace and hope of Christ.  Jesus is near to the brokenhearted.  If you want to find the Babe in the Manger, go be with the brokenhearted.  He is there.  The Spirit of Christmas is there.  

12 Good Signs your a Mom of Boys (to name a few)

1.Vacuuming is a game. Even after clean-up, there are little pieces of Lego to avoid and you don't want to suck them up because you know to which masterpiece they belong to

2.You can find your way through the house in the middle of the night because the glow in the dark toys guide you. 

3.Cleaning bathrooms includes wiping down walls, trash cans, cupboards and anything in spraying distance. 

4. Flatulance is a given...at any moment of the day...and is always funny 

5. Your sofa cushions are on the floor more than on the actual sofa

6.Dead bugs...dead anything, really, is the cause of much excitement and discussion

7.You learn that all things can be a sword or a gun 

8.You've said, "get your hands out of your pants" in many situations 

9.You've been peed on...more than once. 

10.Jeans don't last long enough to pass down. 

11.Favourite Bible stories are David and Goliath and Samson and the Lion (not Delilah...the lion) 

12. Even the littlest playful hug is invitation for a wrestling match 

It's fun being a boy-mom! 

Hello Strangers! Welcome to our Family Movie Night

I've missed you. It has been way too long, hasn't it?  I am sure those of you who are on my Facebook page can understand why I have been too busy to write.  For those of you who were not aware, my dad passed away after a valiant 8 year battle with Cancer just two weeks away from my due date.  We nervously made the trek to my hometown for his funeral and made it back home with baby still in the belly.  Jakin Lewis was born shortly after on October 26 and well, life has been pretty hectic since.  My mom came shortly after and was blessed to have such four wonderful distractions.  We loved having her around.  I really never tire of that woman.  I again, struggled with breastfeeding and am finally starting to feel emotionally and physically better since the birth.  He is a great baby but it seems to take about 3 months to really figure out who they are what works for them.  I don't know what I would do without my husband home.  He drops off and picks up kids from school and is available if I need to sleep in or take a shower.  These passed few months have been difficult, painful, wonderful and exciting all in one and I am glad to be back.  

Okay, so there's catch up.  

My reason for writing today is share the blessings of a weekly family movie night. When Munch entered the world of full time school, it became apparent to me that we have less time to influence him.  As he is meeting more friends from all different backgrounds, we are also learning how our family rules and values are different, christian or not, from other families.   We have been using the phrase, "Yes, their family may do that but ours does not."  During the time this was coming to our attention, I read a great article about creating family identity.   The idea of a family game or movie night was one of the suggestions and from there we made it our thing.  Now instead of just saying, "Our family doesn't do that." We get to say, "Our family does this!" 


This introduces...


7  Reasons Why 
We Love 
Family Movie Night: 






1. We are getting the boys into the habit of carving out time for each other and looking forward to it.  Right now it is really about the movie and the popcorn but as time goes on I am confident the boys will appreciate their parents' commitment to the night. 

2. It helps me to limit their screen time. When they ask to watch movies throughout the week, I have something to point them to.  "No, we don't need to watch a movie, we can maybe watch that one on Friday night." It works.  

3. Watching movie with the kids allows us to screen the shows that they are watching and have conversations about them.  I had made the decision based on a review of the The Lego Movie, that they boys would not be seeing it.   It was mainly for our preschooler.  This last week, Ryan said he read another review and thought we could give it a try. This way we could address any undesirable behaviour that we were concerned with.  Well, surprise to me, I loved it!  If we didn't have this movie night, those boys may have missed out on a really fun movie (that totally inspired them with their Lego!) 

4. It is something to look forward to.  When it's Wednesday and we all feel in a rut, we can look forward to our fun night of a movie and snacks.  We can all do this together. 

5. Snuggles. When there's five people to snuggle with and life gets busy, sometimes people get missed. This is a time where I can give catch-up cuddles. 

6. Popcorn!  I love the snacks....but also... it helps when the kids are always asking for snacks throughout the week.  I can point them to Friday, where there will be a fun snack night!

7. We are creating family identity.  "Our family has movie night."  Maybe one night it will be a games night.  When our boys are nine, we will have movie night.  When they are sixteen, we will have a family night.  It is our family's thing-we look forward to it, we enjoy it and we are proud to be in this family and doing this special thing together.

Does your family have some traditions or activities that help create your unique identity?  Share them here and inspire other families.  

It's good to be back. 

Slow Cooker Inspiration

As promised, here are some wonderful slow cooker recipes.  Honestly, if you have not been on Pinterest yet, you must check it out just for the recipe ideas.  These are all recipes that I have found on Pinterest.  
For those of you who just have no idea when it comes to slow cookers (and I know you exist because I have spoken to you), keep in mind that you can just throw pretty much any kind of meat in the slow cooker with some kind of sauce and it is a good meal.  Throw in a roast with some carrots and potatoes and a package of onion soup mix and you have a beautiful traditional roast beef dinner. Trust me, I am not a natural born cook (maybe I should add that to the blog title too!) but I can make a "fancy" dinner by throwing some ingredients in a hot pot for a few hours.  It can make that 4 o'clock dinner panic lessen each week. 
Let this be your inspiration for a whole new world of slow cooking.  Please share any recipes that you have enjoyed in the comments section.  Happy cooking!

 

 Slow Cooker Macaroni and Cheese 

Ham and Potato Casserole 

 Caramalized Apple Oatmeal  

 

 Honey Sesame Chicken  

 

Cashew Chicken

School Schmool

Remember my post about being called to homeschool?  Yah, looks like it was for a year...for now.  What I love about my loving God is that He is not stagnant; He always has a plan but it is not predictable or boring.  I am wondering if He called me to keep Munch at home for one more year for specific reasons; things like, to spend more time with my dad whose health is failing right now or to learn more in regards to character building or maybe it was to protect Munch from something. We won't know until Heaven.  That being said, it was wonderful, difficult and a growing experience for both of us.

I don't plan to go into a lot of detail on our decision but I will say that I know God is in it and is providing for us.  Not only have I had to give up the idea of homeschooling for now but I was not able to get Munch into the school we had hoped for; the one where we had built strong friendships at.  I literally registered him at this present school not knowing of one single family who would be joining us there.  For a girl who knew every kid in every year of school, that was tough. I cried a lot.  BUT...God provided.  Munch has made great friends and I have met some wonderful moms and we love his teacher and his school.  I am wondering if he wouldn't love school so much if he hadn't experience homeschooling first.  He really seems to appreciate the independence, the competition of being in a class and the change of pace from home to school.  We have witnessed some wonderful growth in Munch and are starting to see him blossom into his own person.  There is the new struggle of dealing with a culture that is quite different from our homes'...things like celebrating zombies and Halloween but those are just great conversations to be had with Munch.  (God knows the battle and has prepared us prayerfully thus far.  We know that we cannot shelter our kids, I just like to lessen the battle as much as possible.). 

So, this is where we are at right now.  I love all ways of schooling...I think there is value and need for all of them.  I think that God knows what each family, or rather, what each child needs and will lead us accordingly.  I am grateful for that, even if it can be difficult and uncomfortable.  Next year could be altogether different.  How exciting!

Buying a house? Some things to think about if you have or plan to havekids....

I know it's fun but don't scratch the floors! 

When we bought our present home we had a three year-old and a one year-old.  Maybe it was that I had not yet recovered from baby brain or maybe it was that I was tired of looking at homes, but I look back now and say, "Angela, what were you thinking?"  This was our third home but I didn't have a say in the first one because Ryan built before we were together (I came along when he was picking out light fixtures) and the second home we knew was temporary so didn't care as much.  We had tile and lighter coloured cupboards in our first home, laminate and dark cupboards in our second.  I could give you pros and cons to both.  Then with this next home  I was totally cool with custom hardwood. Now I do remember seeing the deep scratches from the previous owners Rottweiler and thought, "Okay, that takes the pressure off to keep them perfect."  However, I never imagined the stress they would put on me as a mother.  So, if this can help anyone in what to look for, use it.  There will always be good and bad in every home and every person, family or household is different but here are some things I learned from owning a home and 3 1/2 children.

1. Flooring. I understand that our parents had linoleum when we were kids because laminate did not yet exist and hardwood was more expensive but it really was the wiser choice for families with kids. Yes, there was always the risk of putting a dent or chip in the linoleum but really it was pretty durable and could stand a little water.  I find as much as hardwood is nice to look at when it is clean, and that just doesn't happen often, it is horrible with kids and water. If you do get hard wood, try to find a brand that holds up to water well...if that exists.  Also, find a hardwood that has a variety of color to hide the dirt that is inevitable. Yesterday, I had 7 pairs of little feet running in and out after first running through chalky sidewalks and the floor was a mess! When we had tile, I complained it was cold but I think that that is what I would go with again.  It takes water and dropped toys and pots well.

2. Dark cupboards....who came up with that? I am glad it's on its way out, however we are not planning a renovation anytime soon.  It may be the stain or finish on the cupboards but they just don't seem to come clean.  They hold grease and dust and anything that we have prepared in the kitchen that day.  They are so nice when it's just the two of you and there is time to wipe up a splash but when there are kids running around, that yogurt may just stay a long time.  I have a friend who bought white cupboards from IKEA and says they are great for cleaning.  So, ask about how the cupboards clean, maybe even bring a tube of mustard and give it a try.  

3. Stainless steel appliances.  Aughh! When we buy a house we often buy thinking about the resale (my forward-thinking husband).  For that reason, unless the whole world wises up, we will have to put up with stinkin stainless steel because people seem to want it. They look all shiny and fabulous when they come out of the box, but most everyone would agree that they are the bain of one's existence soon after. Finger prints is one thing but what I find is sucky with kids is the scratches.  There are stainless steel appliances that are not magnetic...buy those! In our second home, a thoughtful family member bought our one year-old a Leap Frog fridge toy.  She stuck it on the fridge for him, along with all the parts of the farm animals and Munch played for the longest time as happy as can be.  A day later....we saw them....the deep scratches that would forever scar our shiny stainless steel fridge forever.  I went on the Internet to find a secret to magically take the gouges away but it was what it was. You might want to ask yourself, is it worth it, really?

4. A deck with no stairs.  By this time, you may think I hate my home or that I am superficial to be griping about my first-world problems.  I want to stress that I love our home, am grateful for it and recognize we are beyond blessed.  My point for these tips comes later.  I also want to use what I have learned to help other moms and dads choose wisely for their home and so I continue.  

Walk-outs are nice but I think most families would agree that a deck off of the kitchen is wonderful for both the kids and parents.  Your kids are more comfortable with going outside to play knowing that mom is close and you are less stressed knowing you can access them and SEE them if something goes wrong.  In all honesty, it is isn't easy or comfortable for "most" kids to run down the stairs to the basement to get out to the backyard.  In our circumstance, we had people living in the basement so it was not even a possibility.  I was frustrated that the boys had to go out the front and around to the back.  I would sit at the back window and wait for their little faces to appear and if not, would need to go out to see what side-tracked them along the way.  Luckily now, our older kids play in the front with the kids in the neighborhood on a street that is on the quieter side.  It is still stressful with the littles though.  

5. How many Cupboards. If you can help it, pick a house with a lot of cupboards.  I tired to tell myself I had too much stuff anyway and that if need be, I could buy a hutch. Yah, no....I lack cupboard space and I would consider myself a minimalist in the kitchen (with the exception of our one too many coffee making appliances that take up all of our counter space.). 

With all of this in mind,  I would simply ask you to consider what is more important: 

Is it worth going with the trends and risk being frustrated with your kids, your pets or your husband for just living?  Can you handle the sudsy water collecting under your child's chair as they joyfully help you wash dishes or are you going to ban them from the sinks because they may ruin your precious floors? Are you going to be able to maintain the look that these items first had when you resell or will it all need to be replaced anyway because they were well-worn.  Where do you want to spend the bulk of your time? What will allow your kids just to be kids and you to love that about them?  

Can this fancy stuff wait?  Will it be out of date soon anyway? 

Don't let the charm and beauty of a new home put you in a stupid trance that will have you marching around like a crazy lady screeching and wagging your finger at everyone in your family.  Be realistic, be practical or save up for one heck of a house cleaner!

If you have other great tips for new home buyers, please share.  These are just a few things I learned.  If we can help just one new mom from losing her mind, it will all be worth it. 

Have a great week! 

I Washed my Pillows...

...and I am super excited! I know, I am a closet clean geek.  Maybe you knew that we can wash pillows...but I didn't.  Not only can you wash them but they can be made white again.  Eeee! Pinterest has taught me a lot of cleaning possibilities.  

So, here's the method I used.  It comes from One Good Thing by Jilly.  I didn't do before and after....but she did and my results were pretty much the same. Happy washing! 

Coming Back Small

It has been waaaay too long since I last posted.  Let me be frank and say that I have been in a bit of a slump.  Since my purpose in making this blog was to be real about being a mom, I need to say it has been a struggle these last six or so months.  I tend to struggle through the toddler years and Little Goose is in them full force.  The screaming and hitting between him and Bubblegum who is just coming out of the Terrible Threes (oh new moms, I know we say terrible two but hang on to your hats!), was overwhelming me beyond comprehension...then we found out I was pregnant! 

Now, I can't say I was too surprised because, as I learned with my other pregnancies, you can't be surprised when you aren't taking major preventative measures.  I find people who are writing a book on a particular subject tend to go through whatever they are writing about. Well, a few years back I used to teach abstinence based sex education where I repeatedly pounded into kids' heads that SEX MAKES BABIES and that sometimes there is just nothing that can get in the way of that fact.  I guess I am living out what I preach. Needless to say, we are excited for our fourth boy to join our family at the end of October.  

Anyway, my hormones have been crazy and I am very busy with these kids and it has left me...empty; not really feeling like I have much to give.  My confidence had been weakened by the constant battles with my boys. I thought, "Who...am I...to give advice or encouragement to moms?"  I just needed some growing time, time to be ministered to by The Lord and time to rest.  Just in the last few days have I felt like I had something to write about.  I am going to start out small here. Hopefully this is the start of some good stuff.  

One thing I wanted to chat about was...

feelings of inadequacy in regards to housework in comparison to our moms

First off, I am just not my mom.  She loves housework. She actually does it  with a smile on her face and a glide in her step.  She says I came out more like her sister...messy and creative. So in that, I just have to realize that 1. Sometimes there is a personality difference there. 

A huge thing I realized though, while scrubbing the third toilet in our house is 

2. Most of our moms did not have to clean houses as big as ours! 

We lived in a mobile home with one bathroom until I was 12. That's one toilet, one main living room and one floor!  

Our generation and our ridiculous need for a bathroom for each family member, a room for sitting, a room for a t.v. and a room for playing plus double sinks, hardwood floors and stainless steel appliances has created this craziness!  No wonder my mother-in-law could get her housework done first thing in ONE morning! There wasn't as much to clean!  No wonder they could clean windows, curtains and baseboards...they were't swamped with too much clothing to wash and 5 sinks to scrub.  Get a smaller house or give yourself a bit of a break. You can't be your mom...she lived in another time...a simpler time.  

That's all I have today. It's good to be back. I missed you.  

Stay tuned for an inside look on another professional mom, my good friend and photographer, Karina Hiller of Oohlala Photography. 

Foto Friday

I love whoever invented Lego . It may be a pain to clean up but it provides hours of quiet entertainment. 

I am happy that these two are starting to warm up to each other. They are great fighters and huggers. 

We broke out the bouncy house on the front lawn this week. I learned that to avoid injury, it must be off by the time the big boys in the neighbourhood getout of school. 

This is why my phone needs to be out of the way during the day. Little Goose is starting to get the tech crazies!! 

The best way to keep the eyes water-free. 

Have a great weekend! 

-Angela 

Dear Me,

 Dear Me, 

I know you have been struggling.  I can see it in your face.  You are feeling weary and hopeless.  I heard you when you grumbled under your breath about life "before".  I also heard you when you uttered to yourself about not being cut out for this.  
Remember that job you struggled through; that challenged you every minute, with every new and old task?  Remember how you grumbled about it and fantasized about leaving during meetings and remember how you had your mind made up that you just couldn't do it?  Yah, and then remember how you did quit and well, felt better for only a short time?  Remember how after you were gone, you looked back and realized the job wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time and how you really missed all the good things about it...and all the benefits to it? 
Well, this is kind of like that...but not.  You can't quit this job of parenting.  This isn't a career. This is a life calling.  You are right when you say you can't do it though.  You can't do it alone.  You are struggling right now because you are not relying on Jesus to carry you and teach you and humble you.  Just like that job and many other jobs you quit, you are resisting the discomfort and pain that bring growth and character.  However, if you just accepted the present discomfort; took joy in it because it is doing a work in you that is wonderful and eternal, then you would not be so weary.  
You see, you bought into the lie that life is supposed to be easy and care-free and pain-free. You of all people, should know life is not pain-free. Yet, in this area of parenting, you are really digging in your heals.  Girl, you got to let go of self.  You have little ones who are depending on your selflessness and sacrifice so that they can grow into selfless and strong adults one day.  You need to get over yourself, stop buying into the lie that life is about you.  Stop complaining, stop grumbling and for goodness sake, stop your pouting.  It's time to grow up little girl.  
I am not trying to be mean to you but tell you the truth in love.  The sooner you let go of your entitlement and selfishness, the happier and more fulfilled you will feel as a mom.  Once you take joy in cleaning up little dishes, wiping bums and kissing boo-boos, you will feel freer than you ever have.  Trust God with your desires.  His Word says that if you give them to Him, He will take care of them for you.  Admit that you are not capable of doing this job well on your own; but don't stop there.  That is just defeat.  There is victory in then asking the Lord for his help.  He is waiting to help you.  They are more his kids than yours. Don't you think he wants to give you all that you need to raise his kids up to love him and live for him well?  Lastly, trust him.  Trust that when you ask for his help that you have received it then walk in confidence.  If you make a mistake, which you will, remember that He is bigger than that and will make it work for your good and for the good of those who love Him.  
You are right. Being an adult is not what you imagined.  The responsibility is down right hard some days. Now that you have faced that, put on your big girl panties and make the best of it. People all around you are every day.  You can do it.  You can grow up right here.  It's never too late.  Okay? Okay.  I love you.  I believe in you.  We can do this Momma.  It's going to be alright.  

Love, 
Yourself. 

Profile on an Expert Mom

Several months ago I featured my friend and sleep coach, Michelle Todd of Whisper Sweet Baby Sleep Consulting.  She has since relocated from Edmonton to Calgary and has been seeing great success in her sleep consulting business.  I know that you will enjoy learning more about her and all that she has to know about getting the littles to sleep.

Layla(3), Michelle, Paxton(5) and Brody

What did you do before Whisper Sweet and how did you get into sleep consulting?

Before Whisper Sweet I was an Application Specialist for Cardinal Health (not very exciting, I know).  I got into child sleep consulting after discovering first hand how life changing it is to go from being exhausted all the time to finally getting a full night's sleep. My own experience had let me to do a lot of research and I had a huge desire to share what I'd learned.  I found a great Sleep Consultant training program, and the rest is history!

What are your favourite sleep and parenting books? 
Good Night, Sleep tight by Kim West, The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg,  Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth and favorite parenting book would be "Kids Are Worth It" by Barbara Coloroso.

More on the personal side, what is a family activity you enjoy? 
Day hikes in the mountains. 
 
Do your kids sleep? 

I got into this profession because of my first born - he gave us a run for our money! With my second I armed myself with a lot of research, to avoid making the same mistakes I made the first time. I wanted to do it "right" -  from the beginning. It was amazing. She was sleeping 12 hours a night before 3 months of age. They are both good sleepers now.

How do you sleep? 
I sleep well when I follow the rules of adult sleep hygiene (stick to the same bedtime/wake-up time, no t.v. before bed, etc.) I'm happy to offer advice to adults as well.

What is the common problem with children and sleep?

There are so many factors that affect sleep. A big one is children getting overtired. I advise parents to watch their children very closely for any signs of tiredness, whether that's yawning, rubbing their eyes, getting a 'glazed look', or many other indicators. If they can get their children down at night (and for naps!) before they get overtired the process will be much smoother. 
Once children are overtired they get a second wind and have a hard time falling asleep. Most children do well with a bedtime between 6:30 and 7:30 (sometimes later if the child is still having a good nap in the day). Parents should note that the bedroom should be very dark - especially this time of year when the sun is up for longer. Blackout blinds (or anything that effectively covers the windows) are a necessity. A dim night light is ok, only if the child seems to need it.
I might also add that 'tired signs' for babies are often confused with hunger, as babies will start to root and may suck ferociously on a soother when tired. That is one reason I always recommend feeding a baby right after their nap, so that tired and hungry cues don't get confused .

Another problem for parents of toddlers and older children is dealing with bedtime stalling and tantrums. It is helpful for parents to give lots of advanced warning before bedtime, and then to have a very consistent routine before bed. Do the same relaxing things every night to help prepare children for sleep. And have the routine always end in their room. Some examples of this are a bath, reading books, and talking about their day. Get that last drink of water and bathroom visit out of the way *before* they're in bed, to avoid the excuses. And stick to your routine - caving in to requests for extra stories, etc. encourages them to keep stalling any way they can.

What is the most common mistake parents make with their babies?

The easiest mistake to make with babies, and I did this too with my first, is to rock or feed them to sleep. It may seem help in the short term, and parents of really fussy babies may understandably feel they have no choice,  but it leads to lots of night waking and short naps. This is because sleep comes in cycles - which is true for children and adults. We wake several times a night without even noticing because we know how to fall back to sleep on our own. When children are fed or rocked to sleep, they wake in the night and don't know how to fall back to sleep. So they cry for mom and dad several times a night, and may only nap for 20 to 45 minutes during the day. For babies to learn independent sleep skills they must be put down drowsy, but awake. Of course it's not always that simple, but watching very closely for those tired signs will go along way to help.

If you would like to speak to Michelle further regarding sleep, you can find her website at www.whispersweet.com . Or email her at info@whispersweet.com 

Lastly, if you would like us to post a segment on adult sleep, please comment. We would love to have Michelle back again.  

Sweet Dreams! 

On a Roll...

It was just one of those days...we built a fort, we learned some phonics, new words and math...I did some laundry, washed the front of the cupboards...then we made cookie letters to spell out our names. 

You know those days? They don't happen often.  That day when you are just "on " and everyone is with you. 

The boys took their tasks seriously. Bubblegum used his muscles for mixin ! 

We even utilized the flour on the counter; writing out letters with our fingers. 

Today I learned that Bubblegum knows how to spell his name. Those middle kids pick up so much sitting alongside...

Munch wanted to try his own recipe...it worked!! He had me write it out for next time...

While Munch did this, Bubblegum and I made concoctions; baking soda and vinegar, cornstarch and water. I enjoyed it as much as he did...in fact I played with that cornstarch here and there all afternoon. 

Now, I am spent. The boys went to bed well and I am heading there soon as well. 

Have a great weekend! 

-Angela 

10 Things I Learned about Parenting Through Potty Training

1. You can be the boss and your kids will be okay with it. In fact, they probably really like it.  I watched one episode of Nanny 911 last month on Netflix and it was profound.  In this day and age, where generations are so disconnected, I can see why that show does so well. Those ladies got some wisdom. Anyway, the episode I watched brought us through the journey with a mom who was afraid to be the boss becoming a loving yet firm and boundary-setting mom.  It was beautiful to see how her children responded to her confidence in authority.  I wasn't as bad as her but me being a "peace at all costs" kind of girl, I could see areas in my parenting where I did not stand up and be the boss my boys needed me to be. I applied this to potty training.  I did not do it (potty training) sooner because I feared the fight.  However, when I confidently put my foot down and said, "This IS what we are doing.  There will be no more diapers and that is that.", Bubblegum complied with no fuss and almost seemed to gain a whole new respect for me. Huh. Cool.

2. When I am not distracted with everything else, I really enjoy my kids. Having three full days of nothing but focusing on playing with the kids was great. The house work was not priority, the meals lacked creativity but my kids and I were connected.  I thought, "We should just do this all the time." Then reality set in; there were people to contact, groceries to buy, toilets to clean (especially now that are three peeing boys in the house) and laundry to be done.  So no, I can't play all day...but I can be more intentional a couple of afternoons a week and really connect with these amazing children. 

3. I love Mini Eggs.  That isn't really about parenting but it's a good fact. I secretly cheered when we went to the potty, not just for the accomplishment of putting one in the pot but also for the celebration egg we all got afterward! 

4. Favouritism hurts.  I think Ryan and I are pretty good at sharing the love in this home. We believe God when he tells us not to and then gives great testimonies of the danger of showing favouritism.  These last few days, Bubblegum has been getting a lot of accolades, hugs and mommy-daddy time and Munch, who is ordinarily a well-behaved kid was really struggling.  The whining and fighting was more than I could bare.  Ryan brought to my attention the fact that he may be feeling slighted as he too, loves encouragement and hugs.  So, I cut down on my, "This isn't about you." lectures and settled for a little more love his way and it's been good ever since.  

5. Sometimes, what we are afraid of does not really exist.  I have learned this in way harder circumstances but it was a good and gentle reminder.  I have mentioned a few times my expectation of the last three days but now sitting on the other side, I realize it was all in my head.  I am glad we pushed through. 

6. Boys are fascinated with the workings of their bodies.  Not just their bodies but others too.  Each potty time, there are spectators watching keenly.  No one is shamed there. Not at all. 

7. It is good to study and really get to know your child.  If it wasn't for Ryan and I praying and asking God to show us who Bubbs was and then really watching him, I don't think we would have been as successful.  I look forward to continuing to discover who God has made this little man to be.  In this process, I have become acquainted with the funniest, most passionate and most conscientious little boy and I love him more than ever. 

8. Maybe it is okay to wait until they are three. I am almost ready to take back what I said about how you shouldn't wait so long to potty train.  It seems that his ability to reason and communicate have been very helpful to the process.  However, I really don't know so that leaves me to say....

9. There isn't just one right way to train up a child....it is different for each child.  That seems like a lot of work when you have a few children but it only makes sense, really.  

10. I still have so much to learn. I mean, the kid is only three.  This was just peeing in a toilet. We still have homework, chores, dating, learning to drive, personal hygiene, jobs....

I am glad I have a relationship with The One who made my little men, who knows how many hairs are on their heads and what the greatest and worst things they will do are already. I am so glad I can trust this God and can communicate with Him because Jesus Christ made a way.  I am so glad he tells me not to worry about tomorrow but just to accept his mercy for this morning and he will make my path straight.  I can just take a breath and move forward.  So thankful. 

I share my potty training story not because I am so narcissistic that I think you need to hear about my kids' toilet habits.  All my posts are to encourage you moms...or dads who just need a laugh, a reminder or some encouragement in your parenting walk.  I understand I also have a few kidless readers too...I hope this encourages you to your future as a parent (or scares you into celibacy) and helps you to laugh at and understand the weirdness of your parent friends.  

I hope our three days of potty training have served one of those purposes for you. If it has, please feel free to comment. I would love to hear from you.  

Oh yah, I didn't update you on Day Three....totally dry all night and all day.  I don't even think I can take any credit.  It has been a breeze.  It is a miracle that our boy who claimed to love diapers and walking around in his pee and poo is now saying he loves underwear and going to the potty.  Victory in The Natural Mom house! We celebrate....with MINI EGGS! Nom, nom, nom!!!