I Washed my Pillows...

...and I am super excited! I know, I am a closet clean geek.  Maybe you knew that we can wash pillows...but I didn't.  Not only can you wash them but they can be made white again.  Eeee! Pinterest has taught me a lot of cleaning possibilities.  

So, here's the method I used.  It comes from One Good Thing by Jilly.  I didn't do before and after....but she did and my results were pretty much the same. Happy washing! 

Coming Back Small

It has been waaaay too long since I last posted.  Let me be frank and say that I have been in a bit of a slump.  Since my purpose in making this blog was to be real about being a mom, I need to say it has been a struggle these last six or so months.  I tend to struggle through the toddler years and Little Goose is in them full force.  The screaming and hitting between him and Bubblegum who is just coming out of the Terrible Threes (oh new moms, I know we say terrible two but hang on to your hats!), was overwhelming me beyond comprehension...then we found out I was pregnant! 

Now, I can't say I was too surprised because, as I learned with my other pregnancies, you can't be surprised when you aren't taking major preventative measures.  I find people who are writing a book on a particular subject tend to go through whatever they are writing about. Well, a few years back I used to teach abstinence based sex education where I repeatedly pounded into kids' heads that SEX MAKES BABIES and that sometimes there is just nothing that can get in the way of that fact.  I guess I am living out what I preach. Needless to say, we are excited for our fourth boy to join our family at the end of October.  

Anyway, my hormones have been crazy and I am very busy with these kids and it has left me...empty; not really feeling like I have much to give.  My confidence had been weakened by the constant battles with my boys. I thought, "Who...am I...to give advice or encouragement to moms?"  I just needed some growing time, time to be ministered to by The Lord and time to rest.  Just in the last few days have I felt like I had something to write about.  I am going to start out small here. Hopefully this is the start of some good stuff.  

One thing I wanted to chat about was...

feelings of inadequacy in regards to housework in comparison to our moms

First off, I am just not my mom.  She loves housework. She actually does it  with a smile on her face and a glide in her step.  She says I came out more like her sister...messy and creative. So in that, I just have to realize that 1. Sometimes there is a personality difference there. 

A huge thing I realized though, while scrubbing the third toilet in our house is 

2. Most of our moms did not have to clean houses as big as ours! 

We lived in a mobile home with one bathroom until I was 12. That's one toilet, one main living room and one floor!  

Our generation and our ridiculous need for a bathroom for each family member, a room for sitting, a room for a t.v. and a room for playing plus double sinks, hardwood floors and stainless steel appliances has created this craziness!  No wonder my mother-in-law could get her housework done first thing in ONE morning! There wasn't as much to clean!  No wonder they could clean windows, curtains and baseboards...they were't swamped with too much clothing to wash and 5 sinks to scrub.  Get a smaller house or give yourself a bit of a break. You can't be your mom...she lived in another time...a simpler time.  

That's all I have today. It's good to be back. I missed you.  

Stay tuned for an inside look on another professional mom, my good friend and photographer, Karina Hiller of Oohlala Photography. 

Foto Friday

I love whoever invented Lego . It may be a pain to clean up but it provides hours of quiet entertainment. 

I am happy that these two are starting to warm up to each other. They are great fighters and huggers. 

We broke out the bouncy house on the front lawn this week. I learned that to avoid injury, it must be off by the time the big boys in the neighbourhood getout of school. 

This is why my phone needs to be out of the way during the day. Little Goose is starting to get the tech crazies!! 

The best way to keep the eyes water-free. 

Have a great weekend! 

-Angela 

Dear Me,

 Dear Me, 

I know you have been struggling.  I can see it in your face.  You are feeling weary and hopeless.  I heard you when you grumbled under your breath about life "before".  I also heard you when you uttered to yourself about not being cut out for this.  
Remember that job you struggled through; that challenged you every minute, with every new and old task?  Remember how you grumbled about it and fantasized about leaving during meetings and remember how you had your mind made up that you just couldn't do it?  Yah, and then remember how you did quit and well, felt better for only a short time?  Remember how after you were gone, you looked back and realized the job wasn't as bad as it seemed at the time and how you really missed all the good things about it...and all the benefits to it? 
Well, this is kind of like that...but not.  You can't quit this job of parenting.  This isn't a career. This is a life calling.  You are right when you say you can't do it though.  You can't do it alone.  You are struggling right now because you are not relying on Jesus to carry you and teach you and humble you.  Just like that job and many other jobs you quit, you are resisting the discomfort and pain that bring growth and character.  However, if you just accepted the present discomfort; took joy in it because it is doing a work in you that is wonderful and eternal, then you would not be so weary.  
You see, you bought into the lie that life is supposed to be easy and care-free and pain-free. You of all people, should know life is not pain-free. Yet, in this area of parenting, you are really digging in your heals.  Girl, you got to let go of self.  You have little ones who are depending on your selflessness and sacrifice so that they can grow into selfless and strong adults one day.  You need to get over yourself, stop buying into the lie that life is about you.  Stop complaining, stop grumbling and for goodness sake, stop your pouting.  It's time to grow up little girl.  
I am not trying to be mean to you but tell you the truth in love.  The sooner you let go of your entitlement and selfishness, the happier and more fulfilled you will feel as a mom.  Once you take joy in cleaning up little dishes, wiping bums and kissing boo-boos, you will feel freer than you ever have.  Trust God with your desires.  His Word says that if you give them to Him, He will take care of them for you.  Admit that you are not capable of doing this job well on your own; but don't stop there.  That is just defeat.  There is victory in then asking the Lord for his help.  He is waiting to help you.  They are more his kids than yours. Don't you think he wants to give you all that you need to raise his kids up to love him and live for him well?  Lastly, trust him.  Trust that when you ask for his help that you have received it then walk in confidence.  If you make a mistake, which you will, remember that He is bigger than that and will make it work for your good and for the good of those who love Him.  
You are right. Being an adult is not what you imagined.  The responsibility is down right hard some days. Now that you have faced that, put on your big girl panties and make the best of it. People all around you are every day.  You can do it.  You can grow up right here.  It's never too late.  Okay? Okay.  I love you.  I believe in you.  We can do this Momma.  It's going to be alright.  

Love, 
Yourself. 

Profile on an Expert Mom

Several months ago I featured my friend and sleep coach, Michelle Todd of Whisper Sweet Baby Sleep Consulting.  She has since relocated from Edmonton to Calgary and has been seeing great success in her sleep consulting business.  I know that you will enjoy learning more about her and all that she has to know about getting the littles to sleep.

Layla(3), Michelle, Paxton(5) and Brody

What did you do before Whisper Sweet and how did you get into sleep consulting?

Before Whisper Sweet I was an Application Specialist for Cardinal Health (not very exciting, I know).  I got into child sleep consulting after discovering first hand how life changing it is to go from being exhausted all the time to finally getting a full night's sleep. My own experience had let me to do a lot of research and I had a huge desire to share what I'd learned.  I found a great Sleep Consultant training program, and the rest is history!

What are your favourite sleep and parenting books? 
Good Night, Sleep tight by Kim West, The Baby Whisperer by Tracy Hogg,  Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child by Dr. Marc Weissbluth and favorite parenting book would be "Kids Are Worth It" by Barbara Coloroso.

More on the personal side, what is a family activity you enjoy? 
Day hikes in the mountains. 
 
Do your kids sleep? 

I got into this profession because of my first born - he gave us a run for our money! With my second I armed myself with a lot of research, to avoid making the same mistakes I made the first time. I wanted to do it "right" -  from the beginning. It was amazing. She was sleeping 12 hours a night before 3 months of age. They are both good sleepers now.

How do you sleep? 
I sleep well when I follow the rules of adult sleep hygiene (stick to the same bedtime/wake-up time, no t.v. before bed, etc.) I'm happy to offer advice to adults as well.

What is the common problem with children and sleep?

There are so many factors that affect sleep. A big one is children getting overtired. I advise parents to watch their children very closely for any signs of tiredness, whether that's yawning, rubbing their eyes, getting a 'glazed look', or many other indicators. If they can get their children down at night (and for naps!) before they get overtired the process will be much smoother. 
Once children are overtired they get a second wind and have a hard time falling asleep. Most children do well with a bedtime between 6:30 and 7:30 (sometimes later if the child is still having a good nap in the day). Parents should note that the bedroom should be very dark - especially this time of year when the sun is up for longer. Blackout blinds (or anything that effectively covers the windows) are a necessity. A dim night light is ok, only if the child seems to need it.
I might also add that 'tired signs' for babies are often confused with hunger, as babies will start to root and may suck ferociously on a soother when tired. That is one reason I always recommend feeding a baby right after their nap, so that tired and hungry cues don't get confused .

Another problem for parents of toddlers and older children is dealing with bedtime stalling and tantrums. It is helpful for parents to give lots of advanced warning before bedtime, and then to have a very consistent routine before bed. Do the same relaxing things every night to help prepare children for sleep. And have the routine always end in their room. Some examples of this are a bath, reading books, and talking about their day. Get that last drink of water and bathroom visit out of the way *before* they're in bed, to avoid the excuses. And stick to your routine - caving in to requests for extra stories, etc. encourages them to keep stalling any way they can.

What is the most common mistake parents make with their babies?

The easiest mistake to make with babies, and I did this too with my first, is to rock or feed them to sleep. It may seem help in the short term, and parents of really fussy babies may understandably feel they have no choice,  but it leads to lots of night waking and short naps. This is because sleep comes in cycles - which is true for children and adults. We wake several times a night without even noticing because we know how to fall back to sleep on our own. When children are fed or rocked to sleep, they wake in the night and don't know how to fall back to sleep. So they cry for mom and dad several times a night, and may only nap for 20 to 45 minutes during the day. For babies to learn independent sleep skills they must be put down drowsy, but awake. Of course it's not always that simple, but watching very closely for those tired signs will go along way to help.

If you would like to speak to Michelle further regarding sleep, you can find her website at www.whispersweet.com . Or email her at info@whispersweet.com 

Lastly, if you would like us to post a segment on adult sleep, please comment. We would love to have Michelle back again.  

Sweet Dreams! 

On a Roll...

It was just one of those days...we built a fort, we learned some phonics, new words and math...I did some laundry, washed the front of the cupboards...then we made cookie letters to spell out our names. 

You know those days? They don't happen often.  That day when you are just "on " and everyone is with you. 

The boys took their tasks seriously. Bubblegum used his muscles for mixin ! 

We even utilized the flour on the counter; writing out letters with our fingers. 

Today I learned that Bubblegum knows how to spell his name. Those middle kids pick up so much sitting alongside...

Munch wanted to try his own recipe...it worked!! He had me write it out for next time...

While Munch did this, Bubblegum and I made concoctions; baking soda and vinegar, cornstarch and water. I enjoyed it as much as he did...in fact I played with that cornstarch here and there all afternoon. 

Now, I am spent. The boys went to bed well and I am heading there soon as well. 

Have a great weekend! 

-Angela 

10 Things I Learned about Parenting Through Potty Training

1. You can be the boss and your kids will be okay with it. In fact, they probably really like it.  I watched one episode of Nanny 911 last month on Netflix and it was profound.  In this day and age, where generations are so disconnected, I can see why that show does so well. Those ladies got some wisdom. Anyway, the episode I watched brought us through the journey with a mom who was afraid to be the boss becoming a loving yet firm and boundary-setting mom.  It was beautiful to see how her children responded to her confidence in authority.  I wasn't as bad as her but me being a "peace at all costs" kind of girl, I could see areas in my parenting where I did not stand up and be the boss my boys needed me to be. I applied this to potty training.  I did not do it (potty training) sooner because I feared the fight.  However, when I confidently put my foot down and said, "This IS what we are doing.  There will be no more diapers and that is that.", Bubblegum complied with no fuss and almost seemed to gain a whole new respect for me. Huh. Cool.

2. When I am not distracted with everything else, I really enjoy my kids. Having three full days of nothing but focusing on playing with the kids was great. The house work was not priority, the meals lacked creativity but my kids and I were connected.  I thought, "We should just do this all the time." Then reality set in; there were people to contact, groceries to buy, toilets to clean (especially now that are three peeing boys in the house) and laundry to be done.  So no, I can't play all day...but I can be more intentional a couple of afternoons a week and really connect with these amazing children. 

3. I love Mini Eggs.  That isn't really about parenting but it's a good fact. I secretly cheered when we went to the potty, not just for the accomplishment of putting one in the pot but also for the celebration egg we all got afterward! 

4. Favouritism hurts.  I think Ryan and I are pretty good at sharing the love in this home. We believe God when he tells us not to and then gives great testimonies of the danger of showing favouritism.  These last few days, Bubblegum has been getting a lot of accolades, hugs and mommy-daddy time and Munch, who is ordinarily a well-behaved kid was really struggling.  The whining and fighting was more than I could bare.  Ryan brought to my attention the fact that he may be feeling slighted as he too, loves encouragement and hugs.  So, I cut down on my, "This isn't about you." lectures and settled for a little more love his way and it's been good ever since.  

5. Sometimes, what we are afraid of does not really exist.  I have learned this in way harder circumstances but it was a good and gentle reminder.  I have mentioned a few times my expectation of the last three days but now sitting on the other side, I realize it was all in my head.  I am glad we pushed through. 

6. Boys are fascinated with the workings of their bodies.  Not just their bodies but others too.  Each potty time, there are spectators watching keenly.  No one is shamed there. Not at all. 

7. It is good to study and really get to know your child.  If it wasn't for Ryan and I praying and asking God to show us who Bubbs was and then really watching him, I don't think we would have been as successful.  I look forward to continuing to discover who God has made this little man to be.  In this process, I have become acquainted with the funniest, most passionate and most conscientious little boy and I love him more than ever. 

8. Maybe it is okay to wait until they are three. I am almost ready to take back what I said about how you shouldn't wait so long to potty train.  It seems that his ability to reason and communicate have been very helpful to the process.  However, I really don't know so that leaves me to say....

9. There isn't just one right way to train up a child....it is different for each child.  That seems like a lot of work when you have a few children but it only makes sense, really.  

10. I still have so much to learn. I mean, the kid is only three.  This was just peeing in a toilet. We still have homework, chores, dating, learning to drive, personal hygiene, jobs....

I am glad I have a relationship with The One who made my little men, who knows how many hairs are on their heads and what the greatest and worst things they will do are already. I am so glad I can trust this God and can communicate with Him because Jesus Christ made a way.  I am so glad he tells me not to worry about tomorrow but just to accept his mercy for this morning and he will make my path straight.  I can just take a breath and move forward.  So thankful. 

I share my potty training story not because I am so narcissistic that I think you need to hear about my kids' toilet habits.  All my posts are to encourage you moms...or dads who just need a laugh, a reminder or some encouragement in your parenting walk.  I understand I also have a few kidless readers too...I hope this encourages you to your future as a parent (or scares you into celibacy) and helps you to laugh at and understand the weirdness of your parent friends.  

I hope our three days of potty training have served one of those purposes for you. If it has, please feel free to comment. I would love to hear from you.  

Oh yah, I didn't update you on Day Three....totally dry all night and all day.  I don't even think I can take any credit.  It has been a breeze.  It is a miracle that our boy who claimed to love diapers and walking around in his pee and poo is now saying he loves underwear and going to the potty.  Victory in The Natural Mom house! We celebrate....with MINI EGGS! Nom, nom, nom!!!