EdUcation

Seriously, this is why I rarely post anymore. I just remembered this post at midnight! Ahhh!
I tried to do an Instagram story but IG and I don’t jive well. Lucky for you who do not have Instagram, you get a post.
So, if you have been following me since the beginning, you will know that I have homeschooled and then public schooled and am homeschooling again. Just one kid though. The same kid.
The first time I homeschooled, I felt like I was being called to it. I really liked the idea of having a flexible schedule and teaching according to your child’s interest. With my husband travelling for work, I dreamt of the kids and I tagging along and learning all sorts of amazing things on our travels. Not so. We didn’t have the finances or the sanity to make that happen. We loved the alternative school that was close by (Christian public school) and my decision wasn’t based on a desire to shelter the kids so it wasn't scary putting them in school. 
All was well; not perfect but well, until I noticed that one of our kids just didn’t seem to be understanding his school work. It’s hard to explain but it was apparent he was not catching what was going on in class and certainly not what was expected of him on paper. After years of seeking advice and help from our school and outsiders we had to take everything into our own hands. After some assessments, he was diagnosed with a few learning disorders (dysgraphia and discalculia are two).  We had a PIP plan set up at school but it took until the end of the year for the plan to be implemented.  It had already been a terrible year. Our kind and happy son was frustrated and discouraged. His teacher, although warned, seemed flabbergasted by his inability to finish any assignments and seemed to have written him off as a kid who didn’t care. So, he became a kid who didn’t care. When he started getting sent to the principal’s office is when we decided to pull him out and homeschool him. I just needed to see for myself what was going on with his learning and how far back he was.  We also just needed to breathe and let him breathe. 
We are 7 months in on our homeschooling journey and are really enjoying our time together. He seems to be really understanding math and  the reading and spelling lessons. He is great at everything else, it's just understanding the instructions that he struggles with.  I do have to sit with him and read his questions out loud.  He needs many breaks and reminders to stay on task. I don’t mind because it’s just us and well, I’m sort of the same. He has really taken a liking to video editing, like his dad, and I’ve allowed him a lot of time to work on that in the afternoons. It’s built up his confidence, he has learned a lot and thinks this may be something he could do for a career.  However, he really began missing his school when we attended his brothers Christmas concert. To be honest, I was super sad too. I loved all the social aspects of school, like concerts, talent shows, sports and field day, and I was sad that he didn’t have much of that. I tried to connect him with our homeschool community through some phys Ed classes but with pick-ups with the other boys, it made commitment very difficult.
I have thought of pulling all of the kids out and homeschooling because, honestly, it is difficult being in both worlds.  I am unable to help out with field trips with the other boys and there are many activities my homeschool boy can't be a part of because of his brothers' schedules.  Also, days off!!! I did't realize how much time kids gets off until it affected my teaching schedule!
I sometimes dream that we will move on to an acreage, pull the kids from school and homeschool using our land and travel to teach them all that they need to know for a successful life. However, as I get old(er), I am starting to see that I can romanticize things a bit much. My husband and family see reality and as much as they support me in homeschooling this year, they don’t see the kids and I successfully homeschooling. Now, some may think that that is mean, it sometimes feels mean. I also know that those closest to us know us best and those are who we need to hear the truth from.  I continue to pray and seek the Lord on His best for our kids and it seems that right now we are headed back to our public school.  I know that because I am seeking the Lord, He will not let us down so I will move forward until He tells me different.
All that being said, I think we as moms, can really get stressed out and anxious about the options for schools.  I mean, if you grew up like I did, in a small town where there was no option to homeschool, there was no choice.  I went to the school down the street and it suited me fine.  Living in the city with the various public and private options is daunting.  There are even more homeschooling options!   We can think that there is only one right option and if we pick the wrong one our kids are screwed.  Thankfully, God is much much bigger than that.  Someone told me that we need to pray for God to be and work in wherever or whatever we choose for our kids.  When we invite God into those choices then it WILL be good. He will use whatever we choose for His purposes.  I am reminded of how many times people in the Bible messed up and yet God's plan was still fulfilled.  The main thing is the truth of the gospel. That is the ONE RIGHT way.  We don't have to stress about getting it perfect. He is the only perfect one and He can use all things for the good of those who love Him. Phew!
 So, whether my son goes back to school and has an amazing school career from here on or fails miserably and comes back home with all of his brothers-it will all be used for his good, for my good, for all of our good and to God's glory. 
Moms, pray for wisdom.  Seek advice, receive criticism and do not stress.  God loves those children even more than you ever could.  He chose you to be their mom, knowing all about you and your fears and dreams.  Move forward looking for His promptings and then whatever you choose, pray. Trust that God is in control and working wherever they are.
If you do not know this God who loves you so much.  I encourage you to give up trying to handle it all on your own and hand it over to the One who holds the world.  He is good and He has had a perfect plan for His creation from the beginning of time.  Jesus calls all those who are weary and burdened to come to him and find rest. He says that we can give him our heavy burdens and exchange them for his rest.  If  this is something you would like to explore further, feel free to contact me or visit this website for more discussion.  >> Know Jesus
Thanks for walking with me in this thing called motherhood.  It doesn't always come natural but it is quite an adventure!