Monday, 7 January 2013

To be a Parent

Like I said before, "mothering" did not feel natural to me. There has been this tension throughout my four and some years as a mom and I could never really put my finger on it.  Then one day this truth hit me right between the eyes, "You want kids but you don't want to be a parent."  Ugh.
Does that resonate with some of you? We want lots of things without the responsibility. I wanted a car but I didn't want to be the owner of a car loan, drivers licence that could be ticketed or a yearly subscriber to high insurance.  I always wanted a dog but hated the responsibility of walking him, picking up his poop and paying for his haircuts.  The same went with kids.  Being pregnant was fun,  picking out baby clothes, a name, a stroller and getting lots of attention was great.  I didn't really fully process the fact that I would be responsible for a valuable life.    When I get cranky with the boys, it  is usually when I am giving into selfishness and thinking life is all about me and the things I want to do....and not looking at those  precious human beings and being grateful  that I am their Mommy.  That conviction has changed my perspective, attitude, future and daily activities.  I have to make a choice every morning to not just be Angela, who has kids, but Mommy to 3 wonderful gifts from
God.   I ask The Lord every morning to help me find the joy in being a parent to each kid.  I pray for each boy and ask for help to "train them up in the way that they should go."  That has made the biggest impact on my attitude in daily parenting.  These boys deserve at least that.  I have a long way to go but I am thankful for the way I have "grown up" since 2008.  So cool. Thank The Lord for continued grace as we journey along this life.
Have a great day Mommies.  I pray that you would find joy in your awesome calling as a parent.

1 comment:

  1. I love this, and can totally relate.

    I remember leaving the hospital when Louis was born and thinking 'who is going to take care of this baby'? 2.5 years later, I have managed to keep him alive (with a little help here and there). Yay for me.

    See you tonight, and thanks for the great read.